This is kind of a follow-up to my previous post about feeling like you’re not enough. It’s short, so I encourage you to read it first before jumping into this one, though in all honesty, the order in which you read them won’t matter—just an author’s preference.

Now, I know the title of this post may feel a little provocative, however, I stand by it. We aren’t owed anyone’s heart. We aren’t owed love. Now, you may be thinking, “Really? We don’t deserve love?” But ah, I didn’t say deserve; I said owed. Of course everyone deserves love. And everyone is capable of both receiving love and giving love. However, we are not owed love by anyone in recompense for our actions. You may be catching on already, but I’ll explain.

Once upon a time, there was a boy who liked a girl. He courted her for weeks, months even, never telling her that he had feelings for her. No, instead, he showed her through his actions. The boy and girl became very close, but yet, the boy’s courting didn’t seem to be successful. They never ended up crossing that friendship line. The boy’s friend told him that he had tried really hard and did everything he could to show the girl how he felt. The boy was comforted by that. He had tried hard. But why didn’t she feel the same then? As he started to ponder that, though, he stopped himself. He took a step back. He knew that even though he had shown her affection, she wasn’t obligated to feel anything for him. It’s not an easy pill to swallow sometimes, but swallow we must. So, yes, he had tried hard, and he could be satisfied with his efforts knowing he would have no regrets. But love is a risk, a gamble. He had gambled and lost. And that was okay. He had given it his best shot.

Yes, I am the “boy” in the story, and yes, that did happen to me once upon a time. I fell hard for a woman who only saw me as a friend. It sucked, to be blunt. I cared about her deeply, but love isn’t always a two-way street. No amount of love I, or anyone, shows a person entitles them to receive it back. She didn’t owe me her affection. She didn’t owe me any attraction or interest. She didn’t owe me her love. It didn’t matter how much I loved her. The heart wants what it wants, and you can’t force it to feel something that’s not there. And I understand that so well because I’ve also been the other person. I’ve had women who cared about me and showed me love, but I couldn’t reciprocate it. So how could I feel any anger or untoward feelings towards someone that couldn’t reciprocate towards me? Especially someone that I loved.

Unrequited love is not fun. I get that. But instead of whining and crying because they don’t love us back, we need to focus on what it really means. We put this person first, but they didn’t do the same to us. Which means they’re not the one. Congratulations, you’ve just dodged a bullet! Instead of being someone’s second or third choice, we can keep searching for the person who will choose us first (and hopefully we choose that person first also). Because it does go both ways. How many people have liked you, but you didn’t like them back? It’s a natural part of life.

People aren’t obligated to show any kind of affection or interest towards you just because of how you treat them. I won’t go too far down this road, but this also ties in with the whole concept of the friendzone. So, while I do encourage people to love hard and to show it, just understand that it may not always come back to you from the person you want it to. But don’t stop trying. To love is to live, and to live is to love. It doesn’t always have to be only people. Love the small things in life. Love nature’s beauty that surrounds us. Love the animals all around us. Love your hobbies and the people you share them with. Love is the most beautiful thing. To find it, to keep it. To cherish and hold it. To nurture it and grow it. It’s all amazing. So, keep loving, because one day you will love somebody, and they will love you back, and all will be right with the world.